Undercover
by Confused Penguin
Summary: undercover agent in the FBI. Few years after film! rating is just for language! plz plz plz plz review!
1. Enter Stage Left

Authors note – well this is gonna be random and it's about a new member of the FBI who's transferred there from somewhere for a particular reason (no I'm not being mysterious I know nothing about the FBI so I kinda gotta figure that out later!!) yeah, well she's not there by choice and when it comes to the 'assignment' she's working on she's not taking any crap from anyone. Oh and I can almost guarantee it will be angsty at some point!! I like angst!! Oh and if you want me to shut then plz tell me coz this my first attempt at writing romance/drama.  
  
Disclaimer – Miss Congeniality is good, therefore it is not mine!! Nor will I make any money or whatever from this story, I mean if I could would I be publishing it on a free website??  
  
Chapter 1  
  
As I walked up the corridor the only sound I could hear the resounding 'click' that my boots made. I was wishing I had never been given this crazy assignment, I mean investigate corruption in the FBI; what kind of assignment is that? Are they under the impression that I alone can investigate an entire department, I mean I know I'm good but I'm not that good! Ok well I'm not really even good, the only reason I got this job is because the only other woman in the place I'm working on is married to one of the top guys in the department, incidentally he's one of my top suspects as well.  
  
Here I am Emerald Liston, age 32, age 32?? Excuse me but I am not 32, I do not even look 32 I am so gonna hafta yell at SL about that, right after I yell at him about the no information and insane assignment. I mean SL, Snow lion what a ridiculous code name, I mean how predictable and he laughed at mine, there is nothing wrong with Jewel as a codename, at least you can drop it into conversation more easily than Snow lion! I mean who talks about Snow lions anyway?? I like Jewel it's pretty and it kinda reminds me of my real name, the one I'm not even meant to be thinking about, I'm not even sure if 'I' exist anymore.  
  
Oooh! I'm pissed off now 32???? I'm only 24 and he says 32!! Well I guess I should have looked at my personal details sooner, well I did but I just missed my 'age'. I was distracted; this assignment seemed the perfect escape new area, new people, no 'Thunderstrike'. Dammit I promised myself I wouldn't think about him anymore, I think I promised SL to but to be honest he can't do anything about, he can manipulate everything else but he can't control my thoughts.  
  
'Excuse me, can I help you?' the voice broke straight through my thoughts and I started guiltily. I struggled to regain my composure as I recited my well-rehearsed answer to that particular question.  
  
'I'm here to see senior Detective Matthews, my name is Emerald Liston and I've just been transferred here' The words came out quickly and clearly, I can lie it's one of my few skills in life, I've lied from the day I was born and I'll lie on the day I die, that's something 'Thunderstrike' never had to teach me. The man who had spoken to me was short and more than slightly overweight, I saw from his name tag his name was Thomas Jenson but I decided to ask who he was it doesn't pay for people to think you are too observant. 'Can you tell me where I should be I'm a little lost, Mr Um...'  
  
'Jenson, Thomas Jenson but you can call me Tom everyone does' he smiled at me in that way men who want you but realise you would never feel the same way have. I decided it wouldn't hurt to help his ego a bit so I put on my best Bimbo smile, fluttered my eyelashes and looked at him as though he could make the world move.  
  
'Oh Tom, do you know where I should be, you seem so clever and I'm already late' ok so the clever bit was coming on a bit too strong but be subtle and these guys will never get it. He didn't seem to mind so I guess there was no harm done.  
  
'It's just this way, Emerald I'll take you' he grinned again only this time it was a far more sickening sight, he was looking at me as though I was a dumb blonde who was actually interested in him, I'm not even naturally blonde!! And I hate men who presume they can use your first name just because they've given you permission to use theirs. Well it's not really my first name but he doesn't know that! By the time we reached Matthew's office I was feeling positively nauseous from his special little smiles, he only met me a few minutes ago, but he presumes he knows me, people do that a lot to me so I guess it's why I can do this job. But still Yuck!  
  
'Here we are' he says. Since when are we a 'we'?? I have no knowledge or active participation in this. At least I'm escaping that lecherous old fish, I mean Matthews can't be worse can he??? 


	2. Bitch

Authors Note – Ok thanx to everyone who reviewed, you guys are great!! I'm not promising to be nice to Grace and Eric in this fic, you'll just have to wait and see hehe!! All I will say is that 'Emerald' is really more of an observer at the min!! I'm also going to scrap the romance since I've decided I can do angst better, there may be romance later but first the fun, angst, angst, angst hehe!! Anyway onwards to the story..  
  
Disclaimer – Do I need to tell you it ain't mine?? Well if I do...IT IS NOT MINE!  
  
Chapter 2  
  
I pushed the door open, I would love to say I took a deep breath or I mentally steeled myself or some other romantic crap like that but hey, this is life we don't have time for deep breaths and if your not mentally prepared before your standing outside the room you are about to walk into and lie through your teeth then you must be suicidal or something. Anyway if I had paused then Thomas would have suspected something. Oh not consciously, he was far too stupid for that, but the seeds of mistrust would be sown deep in his sub-conscious and that is something to avoid at all costs. I know, I know it sounds melodramatic but it's a useful fact, could save your life someday! Sure as hell has saved mine!  
  
The guy I saw in the office was exactly like the pictures SL had sent me of him, but then again SL always had up-to-the-second information on anyone, anywhere in the world. No kidding sometimes it even scares me how much that guy knows, but I guess that's his job, to know everything. The guy glanced up as I walked in and for a millisecond I stood there thinking, bimbo, bitch, bimbo bitch, bimbo...bitch...bimbo....bitch. Ok so I was lying when I said you have to prepare everything before you begin an assignment something have to be left until you meet the person, get a feel of their personality if you know what I mean. I do bitches better than Bimbos anyway, I guess it's because I really am one!  
  
'Senior Detective Matthews, Eric Matthews?' I ask even though I know exactly what the answer will be. That's my job I guess SL knows everything I ask stupid questions. He is now staring right at me, his eyes assessing, trying to figure out what the guy's at the top have sent him. I'm used to it, it only puts him at a disadvantage because I know exactly what I'm dealing with, Male, Dark hair and eyes, nearing 45 and judging by the golfing magazine in the middle of a mid-life crisis. I knew his track record as well, he did good on the Beauty pageant thing, him and his wife, a couple of homicide cases he cracked as well which most people said were impossible, another spate of bombings in San Fran, they asked for him especially, and finally his piece de resistance so to speak the capture of the snowman, a notorious serial killer. There it is this guy's life in a few sentences, when did this happen to me? Since when have people's lives only been three sentences scrawled on a piece of paper, memorised then destroyed to me. I used to care about the targets, but I guess it finally gets to you.  
  
'Yes, that's me and you are?' he asked casually but I could tell by his body language that it riled him to not have the upper hand, this guy liked to be in control and he liked to know what was going on around him. I smiled at him, not sickly, not flirtatious, and maybe kind of tense. The I'm-harassed-and-can't-be-bothered-with-men-career-woman smile, as I smiled at him I took in at a glance the layout of his office, SL had as usual come up with the goods there was nothing unexpected about this room. He even got the slight slant one of his certificates adorning the walls was at.  
  
'Emerald, Emerald Liston, detective' even as I was speaking I was regretting the bitch decision. Maybe just maybe I could be a...but before the thought even matured in my mind I suppressed it. Maybe I had screwed, maybe playing the bitch was the wrong decision but it was a decision I had already made and it was irreversible. 'I was transferred here from Chicago by the Chief Commissioner, the whole crimes reported vs. results achieved ratio thing...' I let my voice trail off, telling him just enough to realise lying would be pointless but not enough for him to condemn as a complete cow just yet. He flushed, god how predictable, everything is a personal attack on their ego with men, they never can realise that we're not trying to make them feel bad simply stating the truth. He was struggling to say something with dignity and composure and I let him suffer, mentally I ran through my cover story to check one final time for leaks and I pretended not to realise the difficulties he was in. Yup I really am a bitch, but the guy dug his own grave.  
  
A/N – Sorry I know it's short but I don't want to get involved with Gracie until next chapter. Remember feedback feeds the author and makes her want to write more! ( 


	3. Descriptions

Authors note – I apologise I've been very neglectful of this fic! I was on holiday away from the computer; I don't know how I survived! Then I had a lot of school work so sorry sorry sorry sorry, (grovelling is over now!) Anyway here is the emerald and Gracie fun you've all been waiting for, hope it lives up to your expectations!! Oh and thank you to everyone who has reviewed I really appreciate it and you even get an exclusive personal mention in next chapters authors note!! Hint hint review hint hint! Thank you Bob, Lisa, Jennifer-morie, bonny, the juggernaut and trisket-n-gunther. Gotta love the personal touch! : )  
  
Disclaimer – Do I sound like an American movie company owner to you?? Nope, well you're right, I'm not therefore I do not own Miss Congeniality!  
  
Chapter 3  
  
He was still trying to think of a way to regain the ground he had already lost in the conversation when the door flew open and a tall, good-looking brunette walked in. I already knew who she was; as I have already said several times I do my research. Grace Matthews, usually called Gracie, age- 33, occupation- senior detective, married to the man sitting at the desk across from me. She was a good officer and I did respect her for her work especially since the beauty pageant case, but to be honest I don't like other women near my cases. To confuse a man all you need to do is show rather excessive amounts of flesh and flirt outrageously, this rarely if ever works with a woman. You have to make friends with them, pretend to like them and sometimes you even do like them but that just makes it all worse when you know that any friendship you've shared with them is doomed because one day in the future you'll disappear, vanish, nothing left to even signify your existence, gone.  
  
I work on men and play to their insecurities but women are harder they are just plain harder to work out, and from what I already knew about Gracie she wasn't going to be easy to figure out.  
  
'Excuse me, I was in the middle of a private discussion here, perhaps you could return later?' It's always better to assert yourself first; it gives you the upper hand, the control, which is always useful. I'm sticking to the bitch idea, less likely to make female friends, or any friends for that matter, all the more likely to give me time to work. She looked shocked for a second, a millisecond maybe but then I could see the flash of anger in her eyes, I knew this wasn't going to be easy.  
  
'Oh I'm terribly sorry to inconvenience you Miss...' she expected me to tell her my name but as I far as I'm concerned she can read the name tag, that's why I'm wearing one of these things, I don't want to be helpful after all! She glanced at the nametag and continued speaking almost through clenched teeth. 'Liston, I was under the impression that I worked in this building and was entitled to check the details of an important case with my boss.' She was rude, abrupt, and dripping sarcasm, you go girl! I knew she was on the defensive now, but I guess that's all the better for me, this way I won't have to suffer 'welcome-to-the-team' drinks or whatever social occasion I'm sure someone in the office was already planning.  
  
I smiled at her mainly because I liked the way she stood up for herself but I knew that was not going to be the interpretation she took from my actions. 'Of course you are entitled to enter your Boss's office at anytime, but if you need him to hold your hand on every detail of a case when he is obviously engaged in an important meeting then I suggest I'm beginning to see why this department is so far below the national averages' This caught her off balance, I guess she hadn't had the situation explained to her and it was really quite complex, well it was to me. I am going undercover as a police investigator going undercover as a normal detective, ok so she doesn't have the first part to deal with but the rest is confusing enough. I knew I should explain but somehow I just couldn't be bothered so I sat back and watched Matthews, the male one, try and explain to his lady-wife.  
  
'Detective Matthews' he began and then decided on a less formal approach, I never got used to being able to tell what was on people's minds through their faces it still disconcerts me when I realise that I am thinking what the person opposite me is thinking. It was a skill SL taught me, it's a skill we all have to observe the minute colour changes in someone's eyes, the flicker at the corner of their mouth, the slightest change in their demeanour could tell a trained observer a thousand things that a detailed speech would barely touch upon. 'Gracie, This is Detective Emerald Liston, well I think that is her real name' I gave him a nod no point in overcomplicating matters by introducing another name. 'She is, well she is here to investigate why our department is having difficulties with, umm... with our statistical difficulties'  
  
I would love to say I enjoyed watching the man squirm; watching him reduced to the size of a peanut, but it would be a lie. I knew from the research I had done that he was a confident man, not just in his abilities as a detective but also in his abilities as a husband, friend and family man. I realized I had been a bit too harsh and if I carried on this way they would never warm up to me, after all my job is to isolate a leak, not to damage or destroy someone's life. I guess this was as much guilt as I ever feel anymore.  
  
'I'm sorry I was a bit abrupt before, but the public is demanding results from us, and at the end of the day now if I don't improve this department's results then my head will be on the block.' It must be over six months before I've apologised to someone and genuinely meant it; it was a nice change really. 'As your husband said, I am Emerald Liston, I am working semi-undercover in the sense that the majority of your department will be unaware that I am investigating so that I may be able to find the source of them. I guess I was a little over-zealous before but it is so hard to get the results you need without being so nasty' Paste on nervous but self- deprecating face, smile somewhat inanely, and watch your I.Q. drop twenty points as you spiral downwards towards Bimbo.  
  
'I'm Gracie Matthews, and I guess I'm sorry too' she said but I could tell she didn't mean it, I've done my best to salvage the situation so I guess it's best to let them discuss me.  
  
'I really do need to get on with my work so if you don't mind showing me my office and things I would really appreciate it...' I let the sentence hang in the air, Senior detective Matthews got up with a feline grace and replied  
  
'Certainly, It's just this way Miss Liston' Note to self don't insult a man's wife in front of him.  
  
A/N – Ok sorry sorry, sorry again and feedback please!! : ) 


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